


The Last One You'd Expect

by orphan_account



Category: A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - Lutvak/Freedman
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Incest, M/M, References to Bee Sex, Semi-Public Sex, monty's not straight, sorry mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 01:33:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6450133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monty's wondering what's taking Henry so long. Perhaps some things are better with a man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last One You'd Expect

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy quick bathroom blowjobs by sexuality-questioning men
> 
> someone had to sin in this fandom
> 
> whipped this out in an hour, no editing, forgive me for having the writing ability of a 12 year old

Henry's beer had gotten warm, and Monty was curious. He had quickly excused himself to the bathroom no less than ten minutes ago; perhaps he had fallen ill? Monty had a silent thought that maybe the sickness would kill him before he would need to do anything. He considered leaving the pub, and that he may find another way to extort his relative.  
But the opportunity to get close to Henry had presented himself here and now. Passing that up due to an illness would be wasting an opportunity. Plus, Monty figured, checking on him would show that he cared about him.  
The vial of poison still felt heavy in his pocket. He could slip some into Henry's drink right now, and none would be the wiser. This could be his third D'Ysquith dead in five months.  
But Monty cautioned himself, since there was still surely some information he could get out of him about his mother, or the other D'Ysquiths.  
He motioned the bartender over. "Save these, will you?" He lifted himself off the stool, leaving the two half-filled mugs on the counter. Maybe Henry had intestinal issues. He could surely use that in some way, couldn't he?  
Pushing open the bathroom door, he noticed it seemed empty. Over the din, he could barely hear the occasional groan escape from the corner stall. Monty considered clearing his throat, but then considered that Henry may not hear him.  
Pacing to the corner stall, he noticed Henry's legs were spread and his toes were peeking out of the structure. Perhaps he was getting lightheaded and needed to rest.  
Monty raised a fist to the stall door and knocked, expecting a hurried reply. He didn't expect the door to be unlocked. But oblivious to Monty's presence, Henry was sitting on the toilet, pants unbuckled, with his head tilted back and a hand running through his hair. The other hand, Monty quickly noticed, was wrapped around his chub, running light strokes up his shaft.  
Monty felt a lot of emotions, all at once. He considered closing the door and letting Henry never know he was there.  
But the feeling Monty had in his gut was the same feeling he'd had throughout his adolescence, something he knew neither Sibella nor any other woman provide. Perhaps some things were better with a man.  
Monty coughed loudly.  
Henry looked up and jumped back, hands instinctively reaching to cover his crotch. "Oh-h! Monty, I- I'm so sorry you had to see that..." Henry gave an embarrassed chuckle, his cheeks turning crimson. "I-I'm afraid t-that's not very dignified of me... I'll just close the door and w-we can go on with our separate lives." He slid one hand off his crotch to close the bathroom door.  
Monty had to make a decision fast. On one hand, this would ruin him if anyone found out. Sibella would never speak to him, let alone agree to marry him. Plus, Henry was a D'Ysquith too.  
Yet on the other hand, Monty knew this yearning in his stomach wouldn't go away unless he did something about it. And what better way to get Henry to trust him?  
Monty stopped the door with his hand. "Henry, if you'd like, I can do you a little favor... something to make that go away." He avoided eye contact with Henry, figuring the door slamming on him would be enough of an answer.  
Yet, he didn't feel resistance on the door, just Henry's heavy breathing. "...Really?" Monty looked up, finding Henry was staring at him with an intensity he'd never seen. "You'd... do that? For me?"  
Though Monty said "Sure," coolly, his mind was racing. He'd never done anything like this before, and he couldn't guarantee Henry any pleasure. With his heart pumping faster than he thought possible, he closed the stall door behind him and got down on his knees, facing Henry.  
He could tell Henry was already buzzing with excitement - perhaps this wouldn't be so hard. "M-Monty," Henry uttered quietly. "Right here? Right now?"  
"Sure," Monty replied, putting his hand on the one on Henry's crotch. "My beer's getting warm."  
"Well, Monty," Henry chuckled, "At least kiss me first."  
So Monty lifted himself off the floor and up to Henry for long enough to throw his arms around him and try to fit his tongue in his mouth.  
Henry resisted at first, but fell into a rhythm that the both of them could work with. After a drawn out few seconds, Henry let go. "Oh, Monty, that's wonderful. That's amazing."  
Monty simply smiled in response, pushing himself back lower until he was at eye level with Henry's shaft.  
_Do you really want to do this?_ his conscience asked. He considered letting go, getting up, leaving and never coming back to this pub or to the D'Ysquith family.  
But whatever, screw it.  
Monty began to trace his fingers up Henry's cock, feeling his length base to tip. He watched as Henry melted, a broad smile emerging across his worry-creased face. "Mmm, that's good," he moaned, giggling as Monty reached the head.  
Monty wasted no time with foreplay, and went straight to kissing Henry's head. He glanced up and watched his fellow D'Ysquith let out a deep moan, and began to do more than what Henry could with his own hands. He began to kiss down the base, before brushing his tongue against Henry's sack.  
_He liked that,_ Monty thought. He ran his tongue back up in thin stripes, alternating kissing with licking.  
"M-Monty, I'm a mess," Henry quietly groaned. Monty felt a hand snake up the back of his neck to his head, and the fingers run through his hair. "Please, won't you finish me off?"  
That was enough consent Monty needed before opening his mouth and taking Henry inside of him. He watched his new friend move underneath him as he pushed farther down his bone, pushing his tongue against the base of the shaft.  
"Oh-h, Monty-!" Henry squeaked. Monty was worried about other pub patrons hearing the commotion in the stall - what a way to be kicked out. But he threw these thoughts aside as he placed his hands on the insides of Henry's thighs and spread them further apart.  
"Monty, you- you're so good," Henry moaned, arching his back as Monty slid down his shaft. "You're so good at making me feel good."  
Monty knew he was already close - it didn't take him long to be satisfied, Monty began to bob his head, tongue feeling all that Henry had to offer.  
"Oh-h, Monty, I-I'm so... I'm c-close..." Henry tilted his head back and suppressed a moan. "Ohh, oh fuck..."  
Monty moved faster and faster, feeling sloppy and dirty as he traced fingers up Henry's clothed thighs. He felt the hand in his hair grip tighter, and he was being pulled back by the mess of a man above him.  
"Monty, that's fan- fantastic, oh y-yes... please... I'm-"  
Monty felt his mouth fill with Henry's load and eased off his cock. He glanced up at the panting, red-faced man above him and wiped a drop of cum off his bottom lip as he swallowed.  
"M-Monty..." Henry giggled. "I didn't know you were into men."  
Monty reached behind Henry for the roll of toilet paper. "Well, I suppose some things are better with a man." He dabbed at the corners of his mouth and looked back up at Henry, who was beginning to buckle his pants. "Nobody will hear about this, right?"  
"It'll be our little secret." Henry smiled.  
Monty lifted himself off his knees and fixed his hair. "I hope the bartender hasn't tossed my beer out yet," he muttered to himself.  
The poison was still heavy in his pocket as he and Henry left the crowded stall for the pub. Perhaps it would be harder to kill him now.  
However, that wouldn't stop Monty from trying.


End file.
